Nervous

9.01pm

Still at office... doing final animation. After a few weeks, i will left here, think back the time i used to be here. Laughing, playing, hardworking, sleeping, joking and many more. I told myself before, this is the place i want, this will be my last destination. After all those things happened, everything changed. Ppl argue, leaving, black faces and many more. Im just goin up for a training on modeling and texturing. My Boss tought that im goin up for hiding the stress behind. Honestly, is not like that... i understand that every working place also have stress, im not hiding someone or something, is i wanan to change a better environment and learn something that might be useful for me. Thats wat i think so.
For future, for a better lifestyle, i have to put more afford on wat am i doing now. Just half of year, i will be back soon.. with something new .... GO!!!!!!

Am i still belong here??

5.20pm

my mind is blank... damn blank.. looking ppl walking n talking ard me, they r not walking towards me n not talking with me. Im stay alone quietly with no one... Am i still belong here? Looks like im invisible like that.. Eventhough ppl who know about me, keeping away from me. Im upset... feel like wanna cry.. feel like wanna left here, feel like wanan run away as hard as i can. Every smile is not for me, every conversation made behind of me.
Should i staying here ?? i keep on and keep on asking myself... ppl leaving me, leaving me alone. Im all alone, im all alone here. Plz help me.. answer me, should i still staying here or i should go. Go to somewhere which less ppl know about me... so that i can start it all over again. Help me plz..

Relax~~

1.12am Finally im at home.. writing something, i a very relax mood... Eventhough at home, buthen dunno y.. feeling like somekindda emptiness. Im starting become quiet at office.... keep on and keep on working silencily.At last, my boss letting me goin up to igloo for a few months to have some training, buthen from his talking, i feel like he is leting me to relax n scare me too stress in commercial onli letting me goin up to have a rest. AArrrgggHHHH!!!! i wanan write on blog buthen im watching TV lah.... Damn... i ahve alot to say here... eventhough no one wanan read my bullshiting... dont care lah.. let me finsih da series 1st then onli continue.... GOGOGOGOGO!!!!

Still the same

3.40am

Im still at office.. very tired... but this song giving me motivation to stay awake n work... here the song that i really love it... dont know y.. is kindda soft and.. all bout feeling..
我不需要Tiffany.. the song i mention bout...
i think i need a rest 1st... so.. chaoz... SLEEP!!!!!

Go Go Go

2.41am

I've finish 1 more shot blocking... not i wanna be fast.. is just i have to finish all these as soon as possible. Caz theres something that i dont really wanan in this animation anymore. Have to leave the love 1 ( animation ) is kindda hard. Not i wanan left 3D industry lah.. caz 3D have many section mah.. Animation, Lighting, Technical, Modeling and etc.... 3D kia will know wat i talking about lah... buthen outsides may not really understand... My working is kindda complicated 1..
If i finish these animation fast i will have a good holiday n can do something diffrent.. maybe is not wat i wan.. but at least i go try for it... Hope i wont be wrong on this time for choosing other then animation..
Continue.. i wanan shoot down at least 4 shot blocking by today.. i mean before around 6am... God bless.. YAAAHHhhhAAAAA!!!!!!! DO WORK!!!!!

Works works lots of work... little salary..

11.47pm

Yahhhoooooo!!!! I've finish 1 of 5 blocking animation... 4 to go. Due date is tuesday... left 2 days more.. It is impossible to finish this fast for the rest of shot?? I dont think so.. caz IM TIRED LAH... keep on rushing n rushing for jobs.. never ending busniess... I wanna have a rest.. fly to other country n take a look of others ppl working on this industry.. is it so like me ?? still facing monitor n do their jobs while others r resting or playing??
Too many complain... is non-stop cursing.. when it will end?? ok back to wat i wanan tell.. Y my life is so like that...?? is it i need extravagant life?? But after 3 years working... all like overniting.. rushing n full boost on everyjobs... i got nothing.. not even saving much money too. Count back on time.. im not really use that much mah... mostly spend on eat, toys erm.. ermm ... ermm.. Console machine ( ps2, psp and nds i think), Handphones the most...
Just like every start of a year i also change new hp... from da early nokia 6681, sony erricson W800i, Sony erricsson dunno wat series, Motorola A100 touch screen n now is Nokia dunno wat series also... y ha?? everytime i also telling myself that. Enough di lah.. enough di.. last phone last phone.. really last 1.. But end of the year i also have an idea to change it.. I love new gadget.. buthen i dont have much money to own it...
Just like then thing i plan to buy... PS3.. is it worth it ?? i dont really know, buthen theres many 'needed' stuff i should spend on, just like Computer, Tv for my bedroom, refrence books....AAARRRGGGGHHHH too many have to buy n too less money i earn...
So... haiz.. wat to do?? wait loh.. saving money.. but my car installment, insurans... petrol... eat... so many sextra expenses... haiz... SALARY.. U SMALL LITTLE MUTHER FUKER... WHN U WILL GROW LARGE??
Continue work... lets go.. work for more salary... ohh.. i forgot.. i wanna a I-Phone too.. shit~~~

In the way of changing

8.47 pm

Able to get home this morning with my tired body n soul... thinking to relax for the damn comfortable way. While walking to my front door... damn it, its alot of shoe messing infront my door, n the door is wide open. OHHHH SsSSHIIITTTT... i forgot my bro using this house to have a short film shot... AARRRRGGGGGHHHH, i was like wanan run to my car n drive to other places.. but where can i go?? i cant be my LOVELY office while i try to escape from there... someore is not very good looking whn i sleep there, althought i been having thousnad of dream on da sofa. NO WAY IM NOT GOIN BACK THERE FOR SUNDAY....
So.. wat cna i do?? just straight go in n close up my door. OHH GODDDD!!!! my sunday morning destroied... I tought i can watch dvd, sleep n go for a swim while TODAY IS SUNDAY!!! So.. 10 am i back to room.. locking myself inside... 12 something my mom tapao lunch for me n have to inside my room... then something MK called n ask me wanna have lunch then come to my place to swim... I ask him eat 1st then onli come... caz im not in a good mood.
Ard 2 soemthing my bro coming in my room... and tell me that they r leaving in a short period... OUUHHH GREAT!!! Is not im not letting them to have shoting at home.. buthen BANG~ IS SUNDAY LEH.... He asked me be4 whater can borrow out the house for shoting... is kindda like a short film.. HE TOLD ME IS FRIDAY N SATURDAY.... AND HE DIDNT MENTION BOUT SUNDAY... n then i have to lock myslef in da room n having lunch inside...
Luckily they end at 2 ... then MK arrived, with his sweet 'BEST FRIEND' ( caz i dont really know wat thier relationship, but she alwaz following MK) They we swim on da pool at my Condo..
After several hour passed.. I ate, i shitted, i bath n then i back to office ... SUNDAY... Still cant 100% relax.. Caz i have another job to pass up on next tuesday. Well?? wat to do?? Now at office.. cant concerntrate probably... feeling sleepy and tired... MY SUNDAY... is gonna end is next 3 hours...
Ok thats all... have to do work di... K... Kenny is back.. n im not alone here di... good.. Continue to work... WOOHHHHOOOOO!!!!!!!!!